


I Didn't Know Yet, But... (I Always Wanted You)

by painted_lady12



Series: What the Heart Wants [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Bisexual Pidge, Celebrations, F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Lesbian Sex, Lesbians in Space, Lesbians in Space is my new favorite tag TBH, No Underage Sex, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Public Masturbation, Reckless Shiro, Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 10:24:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/painted_lady12/pseuds/painted_lady12
Summary: Shiro is trying to track down Haggar in order to figure out how she made him practically immortal.  His path for answers leads him to a very familiar place, and soon he has reunited with Katie Holt, who not only may hold the key to finding out about his body modifications, but has a new girlfriend to show off.  Shiro is not jealous.  He's not.  He can't be... can he?





	I Didn't Know Yet, But... (I Always Wanted You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shackjt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shackjt/gifts).



> Hello hello hello!!! 
> 
> This piece is a one-off that takes place during the first few chapters of "I Always Wanted You" but from Shiro's perspective. I didn't include all the details in order not to be repetitive, so if you'd like to fill in the gaps feel free to reference the original fic. As a reminder for everyone Pidge is 21 and Shiro's aging stopped at 25, so there's nothing fishy going on here.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: there is a very minor suggestion towards past rape/non-con in the beginning. It is only a few lines, but if this makes you feel some type of way PLEASE REACH OUT TO A LOVED ONE. Your mental health takes priority over a fic. The internet is forever, and this fic will be waiting for you if or when you would like to come back.
> 
> As usual, I do not own Voltron: Legendary Defender

There wasn’t a lot out in space.  Takashi was acutely aware of this fact.  It was mostly just sucking and isolating darkness, nothing and no one around, and he hated being alone.  Being alone meant that his thoughts could start to betray him. 

 

Being alone meant being alone with...

 

An idle mind is the devil’s playground, and his devil had luminous yellow eyes.  

 

Shiro could trace certain scars on his body and recreate the exact shape and size of the claws of his greatest tormentor, Trax.

 

His devil came to him for the first time after his first kill in the ring.  He’d managed a few matches for a few days by only incapacitating his enemies, but this one was extremely volatile, and Shiro had no choice but to put him down.

 

Trax was one of the best liars that Shiro had ever met.  He could be knuckle deep inside of you and you’d believe him when he told you that everything was fine.  Just to relax. Just to…

 

No, no, no bad thoughts please.  Shiro cursed internally, slapping himself hard in the face.

 

No bad thoughts.

 

He was chasing down some intelligence about Haggar.  A local vendor said he had some recovered files from a Galra ship that might point him in the direction of where she’s hiding.  Shiro knew he was heading into a seedy part of the universe, where lots of black market trades go down. He just couldn't find it in himself to care. 

 

When he got to the gargantuan asteroid that the market was perched on, he parked far away from the center of it all.  He donned a black cloak and a mask to cover his eyes, and quickly assimilated into the crowd without anyone even blinking.

 

The market was full of a variety of vendors.  Most of these black markets anymore were selling wares under the Voltron Alliance’s nose.  Most of it was stolen Galran technology from before the empire fell. Shiro usually tried to steer clear of them because of his status with the Voltron Alliance, but today was a special day.  This lead was too good to pass up.

 

Today, Shiro had an appointment.

 

The dealer was an older Olkari gentleman, whose green head connected to a point like an acorn hat atop his head.  He had a small chip that he was maddeningly tossing between his two hands, smiling because he knew how much he was getting to Shiro.

“How much?” Shiro ground out, his deep voice projecting an aura of confidence and superiority.

 

“Ah, well, you see I already have another buyer.  He outbid your original price, so it’s double the amount from before.”

 

There were thousands of aliens pushing all around him trying to get to where they needed to go, and Shiro was rooted where he stood, anger coursing through him.

 

“What do you mean?  Who’s trying to outbid me?”

 

The Olkari just smiled toothily at Shiro, who was grinding his teeth together.  On the one hand, he had virtually all the money in the world. He’d been heaped with riches since helping to end the war, and it would be absolutely no trouble for him to afford the new price.

 

It wasn’t that.  It was the principle of the thing.  Shiro knew not to expect loyalty here of all places, but it still stung.  He was never good at accepting defeat.

 

“How about we go back down to our original price, and I don’t report you to the Olkari Senate.  Those crystals are rare. They only grow on your home planet, and all those created by your planet are government property.”

 

The Olkari gentleman narrowed his eyes.  “That’s how you bargain? You do know where we are, right?  I could snap my fingers and your neck would snap in moments.”

 

A tiny smile played onto Shiro’s features.  “Go on, then. Snap them.”

 

It was a test, but a tiny part of Shiro was hoping that…

 

“Alright, fine,” he relented, holding his hand out for the money.  The exchange happened quickly, but before the dealer could walk off with the money, Shiro snagged him by the nape of his neck.

 

“We have to make sure it’s the right one, don’t we?”   
  


The man gulped as Shiro inserted the chip into the portable computer on his arm, scanning through the information.

 

“It’s all there, it’s just in code.”

 

Shiro held the dealer against the nearest wall, his lips curled into a snarl.  “No code breaker, no deal.”

 

The Olkari was shaking.  A few of the nearby vendors were watching, but most were keeping to themselves.

 

“I… I’ve heard of someone in this solar system that specializes in this kind of code.  You could probably take it to them. They’re on a moon off of…”

 

Shiro already knew what they were going to say, though, and tightened his grip.

 

“If they can’t decipher this, you and I are going to have problems.”

 

He dropped the man onto the ground, who shakily fell against his vendor table, knees quaking.  “Don’t you want to know who to ask for?”

 

That’s the thing, though.  Shiro knew that there was only one person who could decipher something this thoroughly hidden.  

 

Pidge.  Katie, now, Shiro mentally kicked himself.  Pidge was a little kid who they all watched over and fought with.  Pidge was the one who was always covered in engine oil, whose hair was a mess of curls atop her head.  

 

Katie was a professional researcher.  Her hair was always kept neatly. She worked a normal 9-5 job, had grown into a whip-smart scientist who could keep up with some of the most intelligent people across the known universe.

 

He hadn’t seen her since Christmas.  In a sheer black sweater dress and maroon tights, she’d stolen the spotlight.  Allura had dressed down for the occasion, and the two women sat with their legs tangled on the couch after everyone had had too much to drink, laughing about Allura’s comically large collection of ex-boyfriends.

 

Poor Shiro had been on that list, but no one knew that except for him and Allura.  He nursed his beer with a sour look on his face during this part. Keith and Lance had… now that he thinks about it, he didn’t know where the two of them went towards the end of the night.  

 

As Shiro was flying towards Katie with determination, he suddenly found himself wondering about the two of them.

 

It seemed like a problem for a different day, however.

  
  


***

  
  


It was halfway across that solar system when Keith’s distress beacon went off.  He responded as quickly as possible, not quite putting together that no matter how fast he got there, Katie was so much closer.

 

They all made it to save Keith.  They planted the device. Then, somehow, they helped to quash a dangerous rebellion in the process. A few days later, their had arrived to the gala that was thrown for them, and Shiro was adjusting his outfit nervously as he was waiting for Katie and her girlfriend to come out.

 

_ Girlfriend.   _ Shiro was angry, but more than that, he was angry that he was angry.  Katie was too young for him. She deserved to have a youthful romance and go on adventures and learn everything about herself.

 

Katie had come out to them years ago, so he knew that she was interested in both boys and girls, but seeing her with Jessa, them looking at each other like they’d fostered an entire universe between themselves, had hit him like a sucker punch.

 

When Shiro saw them emerge from the balcony above and descend the stairs, his breath caught.

 

There was someone uncannily beautiful there, their pale skin wrapped up lovingly with green lace and a slip underneath.  Her skin looked so soft and so luminous and Shiro had to reign in his thoughts about the way that she looked, because her hand was clutching Jessa’s tightly, and they were whispering amongst themselves.

 

He couldn’t stop looking.  Something about her was radiant and gorgeous and Shiro couldn’t stop himself from gaping longingly at her.  He wanted to be able to look away, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining him arm in arm with her instead, of him sweeping Katie off her feet, of those green orbs staring up at him with something akin to love.

 

He excused himself for a moment, and soon he was being pulled aside by some Greedonite teenagers and they started painting on the scar tissue and metallic outside of his arm.  Something about tradition saying that battle scars needing to be decorated so that all may know his glory.

 

Keith and Lance were throwing a fit about Katie and Jessa as Shiro made his way back over, hoping that he had calmed down enough to be around her.

 

Except, when he saw them together, he realized that he hadn’t calmed down at all.  A possessive something unfurled in his belly, and before he could stop himself his arm was on her shoulder.

 

“May I have this dance?”

 

She looked startled, but smiled warmly up at him.  He led her to the dance floor, her flowing green lace matching Shiro’s paint surprisingly well.  Their topic of conversation jumped around, each of them avoiding their own demons, until Katie confronted him about his relationship with Allura.

 

The way she had snapped at Shiro had made him feel all kinds of smug, but when she started to realize the way she was reacting, how jealous and bitter she sounded, she bolted.

 

Shiro followed her, hoping that he hadn’t said or done anything that damaged their friendship beyond repair.  Katie and him fought on occasion, but there was always teasing behind it. This was something different. This was something…  _ new. _

 

He started after her through the building, panic welling up inside.  When he rounded the corner, he ducked behind a shrub in the hallway, suddenly catching sight of the twirl of Katie’s green dress.  They had tucked away to a deeper part of the palace, a place beyond where anyone would follow.

 

Katie had grabbed Jessa in her panic, and he didn’t even think...

 

It was then when Shiro realized…

 

Oh no…

 

There was a hot mass of bodies pressed against the wall, skin flushed and breathing echoing pornographically down the long hallway

 

Katie was biting at Jessa’s collarbone, pressing her fingers down her lacy panties.  Her royal blue waterfall of a dress was hiked up to her waist, and Jessa was holding onto Katie for dear life as Katie teased her.  Shiro was close enough that he could see how the paladin curled her finger against Jessa’s clit, making the other girl moan in an embarrassingly hot way.

 

Oh… Shiro was not getting turned on by this he was not getting turned on by this he was not getting…

 

Then Jessa pulled Katie’s sheer lace of her dress up, reaching around behind her and teasing at her entrance from the back so that she wouldn't have to let her go.  They were both punishing and quick and messy in the hallway, and Shiro did everything in his power to prevent himself from getting turned on by this, but…

 

Katie was making the most obscene noises.  She pressed herself back until Jessa’s fingers were buried inside of her, making an unreal squelching sound as she started pressing in and out, the hall echoing with it.

 

It was unavoidable.  Shiro couldn’t help but wish it was his fingers.  He wanted to have Katie dissolve like putty into his hands.  He wanted to reach inside of her, he wanted the warmth of her to slick his hands and he wanted her to come breathlessly without him being touched at all because just the idea of hearing Katie whisper his name made him come so close to coming undone…

 

Their breathing was hitching, and they were rocking together, holding onto each other for dear life as they came undone.

 

Jessa groaned loudly, head falling back against the wall as she must have orgasmed.  She took a moment to steady herself, but then quickly pulled Katie in closer to her, pressing deeper inside of Katie who sounded like she was ascending to a new plane of existence.

 

When she orgasmed she bit into Jessa’s collarbone, and then she slumped against her girlfriend a bit, breathing labored.  Shiro was palming himself through his pants, not able to stop the image of Katie, slumped against him and dress in disarray, breathing hotly against his chest because he had helped her to come apart…

 

They were speaking now, quietly and seriously.  Suddenly, they both jumped apart, and there was an uncomfortable feeling in the air.

 

Then, they started walking back towards the party, maintaining a short distance between them, and Shiro was riding his own high.  

 

He was teasing himself slowly at the image of Katie caged up against a wall, of Katie biting into him as she came, of Katie riding his cock like a pornstar and getting sore from how many times Shiro fucked her during the week… and not even caring because he would gladly have her bedridden and waiting for him every night, already open and twitching for him, and even though he knew that that would never be Katie the image of it was too much to pass up…

 

Then, suddenly, he found himself going in the opposite direction.  He imagined being handcuffed to the bed to wait for her to come back, of her dominating him so completely that he didn’t have to think or feel, just fuck her and maintain a simple life…

 

The idea of Katie tying him up and spanking him when he was bad did him in, and he realized as he started coming that it didn’t matter if Katie was submissive or dominate or a dude or an alien.  He realized that the one thing that was holding true in his fantasies, the one common factor was Katie. It was always Katie

 

As he slumped against the wall, spent, he wondered if it always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> This one-off is dedicated to the lovely shki, so if you're grateful don't forget to go give them some love on their tumblr. They are @hadobaloo and their artwork is just stunning.
> 
> If you like this fic, check out my other fics! I have another Voltron one that will be some cute and smutty Klance one-shots, but also have a large number of Yuri! on Ice works. Feel free to check them out, and let me know if you like them!
> 
> The original fic for this, "I Always Wanted You", is ongoing<3


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